On the road again (Part 3: En route and on arrival)

BY JENNIFER PAYNE

A road trip can be a great adventure, but it can also be overwhelming for some kids – strapped into a seat for hours on end, getting far less exercise and probably at least some easily-accessed but less-nutritious food, with parents who may or may not be able to keep up the “FUN ADVENTURE!!” façade for 17 hours. Activities are limited to things you can do sitting still. Once they start asking “Are we there yet?”, it may be a sign that the novelty is over and it’s time to change the message from “new and fun”, to “familiar and comforting”.

Try to follow their usual routine as much as possible – read a book or play an audio book around their usual bedtime. Have their favourite jammies and stuffie available for comfort.

Whether or not you have good car-sleepers, bedtime can be a good time to start a long car trip. You’ll get a lot further on your first leg before boredom or discomfort sets in and you need to give them more attention. I find the Spa channel on satellite radio works well to hypnotize the children to sleep. Otherwise, their favourite lullaby CD will be soothingly familiar.

Plan pee breaks rather than waiting until someone has to go – which is guaranteed to happen when you’ve just left the last service station for 100km – make everybody visit the loo on gas and meal breaks, or every 4-5 hours.

Eat the food you packed! It may sound silly, but I’ve seen it happen. You don’t want to run out of food too soon so you save what you packed in reserve for a hunger emergency that never comes. So instead it rots in a puddle of water in your cooler, or in a plastic bag in the sun. Those beautiful organic grapes are now beautiful fuzzy organic grapes! The more they’ll eat at regular intervals earlier in your trip, the more you stave off hunger moods, and the longer you can go between stops. Don’t forget to feed Mom and Dad too, and keep some peppy drinks handy in case the driver needs a little help to stay awake and alert.

When boredom knocks. Encourage the kids to just enjoy the view. As my daughter spontaneously remarked about one sunset: “dat is boodaful” (phonetically presented in toddler-speak). Our lives are so packed with stimuli that a road trip is good opportunity to just chill. Ask them what they see, engage in your surroundings and tell them what you know about the places you pass through. Tell stories about places you’ve been and find out where they’d like to go someday. Talk about things you’ll do at your destination and who you might see. A list of car games activities is another article, but we all have our favourites. If they’re getting antsy, offer up options from the activities bag you have between the seats from Part 2 and start looking for an opportunity to get out and stretch. Also consider moving to the back seat for a visit with your child, if there’s room to do so safely. Our ultimate sanity saver, our sure thing, used cautiously to stave-off meltdowns without depleting the battery, is the portable DVD player and a few DVDs they’re currently hooked on. Find your sure thing and don’t be afraid to use it. Yes, in the same paragraph as I’m saying unplug and enjoy the view, I’m saying pull out the movies. Such is the persistent irony of parenthood.

Travel is a great opportunity to educate. In addition to talking about the places you pass, older kids may enjoy taking on the very important job of navigator, checking off towns (reading and geography), double-checking the GPS instructions (map-reading), measuring distances and gas mileage (math). They may even use the GPS or tour guides to find near-by gas stations, hotels or restaurants.

Remember to check your own expectations as well and those of your partner, and prepare to have to roll with it if things don’t go the way you had carefully planned out. Have potential crash-places mapped out along your route in case you decide it’s safer to stop than continue, whether for poor weather or during night drives when highway hypnosis can be dangerous.

Prepare to defy your GPS. Sometimes we just don’t know what Gypsy (our GPS’ nickname) is thinking. When it’s obvious to you that you don’t want to go the way your GPS is telling you to go, be prepared to listen to her disappointment while she goes about “recalculating” to try to get you around the block, back to where she told you to go, as you continue to disobey. She’ll figure it out eventually. When you do decide you’re wiser, she ends up having been right. When you finally decide to trust her again, you end up in some mysterious village down by the river where bells and fifes can be heard through the fog. Gypsy she is. Have your navigator check the maps you brought as back-up.

To stop or not to stop. Some experts will say to stop for a 10-minute break every hour that your children are awake. Not me! I say go as long as you can while they’re happy, fed and not bursting for a pee. We were able to limit wake-time stops to every four hours or so, and they always included getting gas, something to eat, a bathroom break and doing some calisthenics or finding a place to run around. That said, there were complaints of sore bums and legs before we got home. Every family is different. We happen to have very good travelers. Decide for yourself the appropriate level of torture for your own children and adjust your plan accordingly.

When you get there

Don’t dismiss the potential for chaos once you reach your destination. The work doesn’t stop once you are finally “there”. The kids will very likely have some pent up energy to work out, not to mention some new nervous energy reconnecting with family members they (and you) haven’t seen in a while. Try not to plan too much for the first couple of days after your arrival. That way you won’t feel late if you do need make an unexpected stop on the way, and you still have some time to wind down from the trip. You can also restart a normal routine that parallels their usual home routine, especially with respect to mealtimes and naps or bedtimes.

Celebrate a successful drive and emphasize how well the kids did. Then look forward what you’ll do at your destination by planning things out together. Look for local events and tourist attractions and see what fits. As in life, on vacation you still have to make things happen. It’s tempting to sit on Grandma’s porch or at the resort pool for two weeks sipping margaritas, and you certainly should do that. Just don’t linger too long or before you know it you’re packing for home and you never got to show the kids your favourite spots in town.

If you’re visiting family and friends, the best way to see the most people in the shortest amount of time is to have a party! You may not get much quality time with each person, but you will get lots of hugs. Letting everyone know you’re coming and giving them a time and place to come to see you can really help alleviate the guilt you may have encountered as you drive back out of town with only half of your visiting list checked off.

Keep a beach bag ready and accessible for any impromptu swimming opportunities so you don’t have to dig through deeply buried luggage or miss the chance for a dip. We kept beach/pool gear in the van at all times during our trip and it came in handy on more than one occasion. You never know!

When planning your return home, work backwards from when you need to be home again and leave yourself a safe cushion of time for any unexpected delays.

Finally and perhaps most importantly, have fun! These are the times and experiences your children will remember for a lifetime. Treasure the little moments, take advantage of opportunities to be a kid again yourself. If you are with family and they can babysit, sneak away with your spouse for a date or two. And of course, take lots of photos (I didn’t, as you can see from this scant collection)!

The benefits or car travel are many. You are more in control of your trip, you get more quality time with the family with fewer distractions than normal life. You are also more mobile while at your destination, without the expense of a rental car with child safety seats.

If not for the blessed good nature of my children, our story may have turned out quite different, but this summer we made it down with only 3 movies, no accidents (potty or traffic) and no meltdowns on anyone’s part. The hastily prepared camping trip we took a couple of weekends after that is another story…we can’t always practice what we preach, can we?

Summer is coming to a close. Whether you’re fitting in one last trip over Labour Day weekend, or anticipating some travel for Thanksgiving or Christmas, here’s hoping that these tips help smooth some of the bumps out of your road. Come back for a visit when you get home and tell us all about your travels and any new tips you’ve picked up along the way.

We head back to NB in December for Christmas. We just booked our flights. ; )

We’re thankful to Jennifer Payne, entrepreneur, mom to four-year-old twins, band member and all-around super mom for filling us in on her road trip. Jennifer also manages our valued advertiser relationships here at Kids in the Hills. Watch for guest columns from her this fall and winter. ~BL