World’s Greatest Dad

“Hmmm…I thought I had something planned on the 27^th of May. What was it again?”  Nothing written on my very crowded wall calendar to give me a clue, just a heart around the date.  Better check my daytimer. “Oh! “ with tears tugging at my eyes, “That’s what it was…”

Rewind 30 years and you would most likely find me following my dad around outside at our home on Vermillion river picking up sticks while he cut the grass, or riding on his back in an orange Kelty backpack while he led his class of 7^th graders on a field trip. He was one of those dads who could keep a close watch on his two daughters while still giving us room to fly. I knew he was always there, even if I couldn’t always see him.

Like the time in kindergarten when I blacked out from hanging upside down on our indoor monkey bars too long. Lying on the floor waiting for my eyes to clear from the blackness, crying a bit because I thought I was going to be blind forever, I heard dad’s voice in the hallway and I knew it would be ok. He carried me to his classroom and when my eyes cleared he sat me behind his desk, gave me my cheese and lettuce sandwhich, some pencil crayons and paper, and went back to his teaching. (It was one of my favourite spots to sit and color, where I could listen to him teach and feel special because I was his and I got to sit in his chair!)

My dad was the dad who could coach any sport, from track and field to basketball to figure skating. He was the guy who would camp outside with us in our little tent, 10 feet away from our cozy cottage at the lake, just because we wanted to go ‘Real Camping’. He suffered many fish hooks stuck in his hands (I think we almost hooked his ear a few times) when we couldn’t hold our rod still while he took off the fish for us. And put the worm on for us. And untangled the line for us.

When our family made a big transition so dad could follow a calling to be a minister, he showed us how strong a humble man of faith could be. I learned not to worry about tomorrow, even though sometimes he might not have known how the bills were going to be paid. Miracles always happened.

He taught me how to check the oil in my car and how to change a flat. Not that he ever set about to teach, he simply let me ask questions and hang around him while he worked, at home or at church. His office became my office, where I would sit and study while he wrote. I knew I could always call him at the office in the mornings and he’d take time to chat with me, even if I was just at home.

Once, as a friend and I were heading to the cottage for a girls weekend, my dad loaded an extra bag into the car. When I asked him what it was he said it was an emergency kit, a map, and a calling card. I rolled my eyes, said we would be fine, and kissed him goodbye. As we drove away my friend said she wished her dad cared enough to worry about her and that I should be glad mine took extra care. I’ve never forgotten that.

When I was really small I used to say I would marry my dad when I grew up.

He would tell me no, that mommy was his girlfriend first and he married her. But I didn’t care, he was the only man for me at that age. He patiently and carefully guided me thru heartbreak as I journeyed through dating. He reminded me that I was irreplaceable and so special, which in turn kept me from more serious heartbreak.

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It seems to me that dads get overlooked when it comes to parenting and the parent-child relationship. Much of the information is geared more towards mothers, with magazines, classes, marketing and so on. I would love to see dads have some dad-focused outlets. There is such an important and amazing bond that dads provide which cannot be duplicated. I wouldn’t be who I am today without having had the world’s greatest dad. He taught me respect, sharing, fair play, team work, generosity, caring for those in need, acceptance, unconditional love, forgiveness, discipline, friendship, faith.

Dads, you are vital to your child and your role is in no way lesser than moms. I like to tell expectant dads who think they have to give their baby a bottle in order to bond with baby, that in the early weeks moms job is to feed baby and that’s it. Dad gets to change, bath, snuggle, and play with baby! Studies have shown that the interactive play that a dad engages in with his baby promotes necessary brain development and encourages motor skills. Too many times dads find themselves ill-equipped to know how to interact and engage their child, and end up relying on the electronic babysitters (TV, video games) to help them out. The only time I remember sitting and watching tv with my dad was to see Hockey Night in Canada. My earliest memory, around 2 yrs old,  is of cross country skiing with him, riding in the backpack on his back. He included us in his life, as simple as some things might have been like gardening or washing the car, he found ways to make us feel special.

On Father’s day when we were older, my dad would buy us a little gift, to say thank you for being his kids.

I challenge dads to be wrapped up in their kids and make them a part of you. The role of father is a gift, not just reserved for father’s day.

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Fast forward (we went back 30 yrs remember?) to last June, the week before father’s day.  You’d find my mom, my

sister, and me along with my husband and 1 yr old son, standing in Sears looking at ties and dress shirts for dad, as we have for so many years. Big signs are hung all over from the ceiling saying “Remember dad!” which I found so ironic at that moment. Mom chose a nice shirt and tie that would look good with dad’s best suit, and I did “Remember Dad”…in his suit at my wedding, at my son’s dedication, countless Sundays in his suit while he preached.  It helped to remember. It made the raw feeling that shock brings seem a little more bearable. A few days later, hundreds of people who had been blessed by dad’s life joined us in remembering, as we said goodbye, to the world’s greatest dad. My hero.

May 27^th was the day my dad suddenly left us for his heavenly family. Its hard to comprehend how we went thru a day without him, let alone a whole year. He will miss seeing Zachariah play hockey and he wont get to meet the rest of my babies. Zac blew out some candles for Papa on his birthday and waved to him in the night sky. I won’t get to run my first 5km with my dad, or ask his advice on parenting questions. But what I can do is remember. All the ways he input into my life and how I can share that now with my kids. The adventures, the learning, the incredible patience he had. I can do that, if I just remember.

Thank you dad, for being your best with us.